Welcome back everyone. Welcome back, again, Russell. Will you introduce us to your guest today?
- [This is] Katrina.
Welcome Katrina. Do you have a full name, or a preferred nickname?
- Lord Duchess Kickass von Nosebleed.
I think I’ll just stick with Katrina.
- Screw you. [I guess] Katrina’s enough.
Thank you. One quick question, as I do try not to insult anyone who visits here. Would you consider yourself to be human, or some other species?
- Really? You can’t figure that out. There are zombies, werewolves, demons, and all manner of Hellspawn everywhere and you can’t tell I’m a human. Come on man.
::chuckles:: In honesty? No. I’ve had a few visitors who I would have sworn were human, but were actually from a different ancestry. That is why I ask first. However, with the pleasantries out of the way, will you tells us a little about where you were born and grew up?
- It used to be cool, until the demons and ish came.
What about your family – like parents or siblings. What were they like?
- [Siblings?] They sucked too.
I’m guessing you didn’t have a close knit family. What do you to support yourself?
- I deliver rancid pizza to idiots. Who likes delivering pizza to idiots?
I hear you there. I tried that gig, and didn’t last very long at it, myself.
Do you have anyone you’re seeing, or like to spend time with?
- Well this demon tricked me into sleeping with him so I staked him through the penis. Other that than no.
- I hate everybody.
Is everyone your enemy then, or are there some that you want to see destroyed more than others?
- Pretty much every monster in the world. I need to send them home. Like now. I want to take a nap without worrying about a demon wailing on his guitar all night.
I’m guessing some of that has to do with the unwelcome encounter you mentioned earlier. Though, I’ll also agree – the untalented trying to pretend to be rockstars can be a bit nerve wracking.
Since you mentioned you “need to send them all home”, would that be something you consider an almost perfect future?
- For all the Hellspawn to go back where they came[? ]
Do you wish for the Hellspawn’s return home because you consider yourself good, or because they are competition?
- Well I know demons and other monsters are bad. And I kill monsters. So I guess good, but in a very bad way.
Hmm, I’ll tentatively agree that in this case good is relative. Though, I believe like you – evil should stay where it belongs if it doesn’t want to be catapulted home in the most uncomfortable way possible.
Do you ever wish you could change about yourself?
- I’m awesome.
Well, Ms. Awesome, what would you do if one of your enemies complemented you, or a not-quite-enemy insulted you?
- I kill them.
- [Or] I probably kill them.
Well you’re consistent at least. I’m sure that helps when you’re under pressure. Or do you handle it well?
- Ha! Well I’m about to head into Hell to kick the devil’s butt, so I would say I’m alright under pressure.
I’d say that you do handle it well indeed. Do you ever feel an overwhelming fear that you have to fight off?
- [Yes. I fear] that these demons and ish will be around forever.
Is there anything you use to help combat that fear, like an achievement or knowledge you’ve earned?
- That I killed about 1,000 Hellspawn with my bare hands [because] only pussies use weapons.
::blinks:: That’s quite a record! I won’t hold you any longer, and would like to thank you for letting Russell bring you over to visit. It’s been … entertaining … getting to know you.
Russell, that thanks goes to you as well for coming back today. Hopefully Katrina doesn’t make your life too hard.
If you’d like me to host an interview for you, please stop by my Offered Services page and fill out the simple submission form. I’ll get in touch with you to discuss details soonest.